We are happy to announce that we are expecting again.
Actually, we are happy/anxious/scared/thankful to announce that we are expecting again. It's a gift we do not take lightly. Nor is it one that we receive without baggage.
I have given blood beyond measure up to this point. Hormone levels have been checked and rechecked. There have been several doctor, nutritionist, and midwife visits. Lab results are eagerly awaited and analyzed. Plans and procedures are constantly being tweaked. All of this to help us keep our little baby. It brings me to tears when I think about all the efforts that have gone into helping this little life.
And yet we know that no earthly effort determines what happens to this baby. Just like our babies before, this baby's life is in the hands of the One who gives life. And that makes me cry, too. They are tears of thankfulness. Just knowing that this baby is known by GOD and that HE watches over our baby is of great comfort to me.
As a woman, I realize how fortunate I am to have gotten pregnant three times in ten months. I am grateful that I can even get pregnant. And yet I live in a constant state of longing for my babies that I have lost. I love my Jack and Claire and I would have loved the chance to be there momma on earth. There will always be that part of me that longs for what should have been. It's been a hard, yet sweet, journey to both grieve the past and try to hope for the future. This is a dance I know well.
The day I found out that I was pregnant, the LORD gave me these words: GROW. BE WELL. I believe these are words that I am to pray over my baby.
Whenever I am anxious; or scared; or resting in the knowledge that my baby is with me still, I pray that my baby grows and is well.
Grow baby. Grow and let your momma delight in her swelling belly. Grow and thrive. Be well, sweet baby of mine. Be well in my womb and let me see your beautiful face in May.
Friends, we share this news not to seek your congratulations (you can congratulate us when a baby is in our arms) but to ask for your prayers. Please join us in covering our baby in the prayer that he/she will GROW and BE WELL.
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19