May 28, 2013

A New Bend in the Road

I am 23 weeks along in this pregnancy and I can report that it has only been in the last few weeks that I have felt more excitement than anxiety.  Getting to our 20 week ultrasound and knowing that everything is just as it should be with our sweet little boy was a hurdle I needed to jump over in order for my heart to freely and fully enter into the joy and anticipation of his arrival.

So we have begun to make plans for our son’s arrival and in doing so, we no longer talk about “if” he comes home, but “when” he will come home.  

When my baby kicks or has the hiccups, I delight in that.  And yet, I mourn what I never got to experience with our other six babies.  I am still mindful that we waited over three years for this time in our lives to come and that getting here found us losing so much.

A few times it has been said to me that the happiness and excitement we feel now must make up for all that we have endured in the past.

I assure you it does not.

The present joy of things does not diminish or erase the past hurt and losses; rather, it is the losses and pain from the past that heightens the joy of things today.

And so it seems I am turning down a new bend in the road and I am no longer a mother who only mourns.  Now I am a mother who continues to mourn, but also one who can see on the horizon something full of life being born out of my body and into our hearts.

May 2, 2013

Here I Raise My Ebenezer

Oh friends, we have such good news to share with you.  It’s so fun to be able to share good news with you!

We had our 20 week ultrasound appointment and everything looks perfect!  Everything about our little baby is just as it should be.  Everything about this body of mine is just as it should be.

How different all of this is for us.  How surreal, too.

We are grateful.  

Grateful to the medical professionals who have taken such good care of me and our baby.

Grateful for our friends and family who have hoped with us for the last few months that this time- this seventh time- would be different.

Grateful for each other because at the end of the day, when fears subside and hope surfaces, we have each other to share in it with.

And grateful to the LORD because, after all, it is HE who has done a great work here.  HE made possible what seemed impossible.  HE is making beauty from ashes.....again.

So it is here that I raise my ebenezer, thankful- beyond thankful, really- for what GOD has done, what HE is doing, and what HE will do.

I never want to forget this milestone in our lives and the life of our baby.

And so, it is with great joy that we announce to you that we are having a BOY.  A sweet baby boy!  We can hardly believe it.

I can scarcely wait for the day I can hold him and whisper to him the story of all that GOD overcame to bring him to us.

Our son is greatly loved beyond measure and deeply treasured beyond riches.  

That's our son- he has my nose and hopefully he'll have Jason's awesome hair!