June 24, 2010

Peach Cobbler (GF/WF/Dairy Free/White Sugar Free)

Post Edit: I decided that I am not all that happy with how this turned out- it is definitely best when served right out of the oven, but even then it left me wishing I had made something else.  So try it at your own risk!

I just pulled out of the oven a peach cobbler for my deacon meeting tonight (isn't that perfect, peach cobbler for a church function!?) and I tasted it........and it's pretty yummy!

Want the recipe?  It's yours for only $9.99......eh, but since you are here, I'll give it to you for free.

Peach Cobbler
In a greased 9 x 13" pan, place:
  • 10 ripe peaches, cut into 1/4" slices (you could take the time to peel your peaches if you'd like- just blanche them in boiling water for 30 seconds and the skin will begin to peel off.  For what it's worth, I like to leave the skin on.)
In a bowl, mix together:
  • 2 cups GF baking mix or flour (I used brown rice flour this time)
  • 1 1/2 cup agave nectar
  • 1/4 cup melted Earth Balance spread
  • 1/4 cup melted coconut oil
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
Pour the mixture over the sliced peaches, being sure to cover the surface of the peaches as much as you can.

Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 30 minutes, or until the top of the crust is golden brown.


P.S. You could easily turn this into a GF/WF/dairy free/white sugar free peach crisp- follow the directions from this recipe on what to do with the peaches and then go here for directions on how to make the crisp topping.

June 21, 2010

Homemade Spanish Rice......Muy Buena!

We had friends over for MYOB (make your own burrito) night and I wanted to make spanish rice from scratch.  Everyone loved the rice and I thought I would share how to make it here.

I can't call this a recipe....it's more like a few easy steps:
  • Sautee 4 garlic gloves (fresh or frozen) in 2 tablespoons of olive oil until garlic is soft
  • Pour in two cups of UNCOOKED, DRY rice (I use brown rice) to the pan and allow that to sautee for 5 minutes
  • Add 32 ounces of chicken broth and 15 ounces of plain tomato sauce to the pan and bring it to a boil
  • Once the mixture has reached boiling point, lower the heat, cover your pan and allow rice to simmer for approximately one hour or until all of the liquid has cooked into the rice

Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp (GF/WF/Dairy Free/White Sugar Free)

Here is my recipe (a hybrid of a couple of other recipes with my own tweaks) for strawberry rhubarb crisp.

And it's for those of you who can't have wheat. or gluten. or dairy. and are staying away from processed sugar.  Yes friends, it's good and not too bad for you!

Strawberry Rhubarb Crisp
Mix these ingredients into a bowl and place in a greased 9 x 13" pan:
  • 12 stalks of rhubarb, cut into 1/4 inch pieces
  • A pint of strawberries, hulled and quartered
  • 1/2 cup agave nectar
  • 1/2 cup GF baking mix or flour
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon of fresh lemon zest
In another bowl, mix these ingredients to make the crisp topping:
  • 1/2 cup melted Earth Balance spread
  • 1/2 cup melted coconut oil
  • 3 cups GF oats (or less if you don't like a lot of oats)
  • 1 1/4 cups GF flour or baking mix
  • 1/2 cup agave nectar
  • Cinnamon to taste
Pour the crisp mixture over the fruit and bake in the oven at 375 degrees for 25 minutes.  Then cover the pan with foil and bake the crisp for another 15 minutes- doing this should allow the crisp topping to brown without burning while the fruit cooks down more and absorbs the juices.


June 10, 2010

Meet the Cuisipro Herb Keeper

Okay, it's time to lighten things up a little around here, so I thought I would introduce you to one of my most favorite kitchen items of late.....

The Cuisipro Herb Keeper.

Not only is this good-looking and BPA-free, but good golly it keeps your fresh herbs and vegetables (like asparagus) fresh for weeks!

I received it as a Christmas gift, so I am not sure if it can be found in stores or not (maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond?), but you can find it here on Amazon.com.

Here's to keeping your herbs fresh. Longer!

June 7, 2010

Raw and Random: Where I Am in the Process

I carry this grief with me. All of the time.

It’s with me when I meet you for coffee. It’s there when you see me at church or at a party. It’s still in me when I laugh with you.

My grief is always with me.


You may think that I should be “over” this by now. You are wrong.

How can I get “over” the loss of life that God put in my body? the loss of what was supposed to be? the loss of what was to come?


Even with getting pregnant again I have had to exercise the balance of what doctors say and trusting God with the timing. I just feel like trusting the Lord completely with this because I don't have the mental capacity to think about when is the best time to start trying again.


I feel different inside- death changes you.


Life, if you didn’t already know, is quite fragile. And death is painful no matter how you slice it- knowing God or not.


I read somewhere the best color in an artist’s palette is black. You can add black to any color and it adds more depth and richness. I have to believe that my black is adding more depth and richness to my life.


On looking for an answer to why this happened: My heart is not in pursuit of earthly answers. I just want to be present- heart and mind- in this journey and keep my eyes on Jesus.


I have had days where I wished I had never been pregnant. I think I would rather not know the pain of loss and would much prefer to be a person who is still trying to conceive.


I am tired and weary and have no words to say. I feel like a lump. I feel like a shell of myself. I am easily angered. Easily disappointed. I am neck-high in grief and doing my best to stay above the surface. I am low. I am sad. I am uncomfortable in my own skin and disheartened.


I dream of babies. I long for babies.


I find comfort in the morbid and uneasiness in the fairytale that all will be well.


I know life is bigger than me having a baby. I know this. But as I explained to some friends, I am just trying to find my place in THE story. And in November 2009, I thought my place in the story was to become a mom. And then that chapter was deleted. In March 2010, I was ecstatic to see that the chapter had been put back in and I was to be a mom after all. And then the chapter was thrown out again.

Violently torn out of my story, really.


You don’t know this loss. You don’t.


This is my journey.


I have had moments where I feel like I am in a bad movie- being asked to choose between trying to miscarry at home or do it quick and and have a D&C; trying to decide what to put my baby’s remains in while we are at home; and handing over my baby’s remains to the midwife and everyone in the room asking if I am okay with that.

Am I okay with that? Hell no, I am not okay with that. That baby should be growing inside of me and not being handed off for tests.


So many are rendered speechless at the loss of a baby. I’ve had many people tell me that they don’t know what to say and that is why they haven’t called or written. I understand. I get that. I don’t know what to say either. Nothing can be said, really. Words are cheap anyway. So know that it’s okay to say nothing more than “I am so sorry” or “I am praying for you.” But please, for heaven’s sake, say something. Pay honor to the life of my baby and acknowledge that this happened.


I had a moment where I did not feel utterly alone. I stood with two other women who have lost babies and between the three of us, we have five babies in heaven’s glory. There we stood, we three childless mothers, forming a tight little circle with our husbands satelliting around us. And for a few minutes I felt understood. I felt connected to something bigger than my own pain. And I felt some relief. For there they stood, these childless mothers, and they could smile and make jokes and have hope and that- that ability to smile through the grief and laugh in spite of the pain and hope because of His promises- can be me some day. What a relief to know that there is something on the other side of how I feel now.


What’s been lost?

More than you’ll ever know.


I am still here. I am breathing and doing things that make me appear alive and well. Most things are a chore and anything that takes my mind away from thoughts of my baby are temporary distractions at this point.

I am still here but wish I wasn’t. Not suicidal, just wanting to escape this pain.

I am still here but don’t know where I am. Or where I am going.


Where are You, Lord?

June 4, 2010

My Babies Names....Written in the Sand....in Australia

Go here to see Jack's name; go here to see Claire's name.

It may not make sense to some, but seeing my babies names written in the sand gives me some peace and in some ways, validates the sorrow I continue to feel each day.

Go here to see the story of how their names got written in the sands of western Australia.

Go here to learn and see more about this amazing woman who is ministering to many families.